Let's play ''Where's Alan?''

There's a running joke between my two american collegues and I. We agree that they're always playing 'Where's Alan (originally Wally)' whenever we're together and I walk away from them in a crowd. And it's no joke either, because i'll sometimes walk ahead or lag behind when we're out and about, and the next thing I know they're staring right past me trying to find me. Several times I've walked past them on campus and they've literally brushed right by without recognizing me. Since most local Chinese are fond of calling out 'hello, hello' whenever they see a white person (in a mocking tone i might add), I have to resort to something else so my friends can realize it's me. 'oi dickhead!' then they turn their heads. Sometimes I use my obscurity to my advantage though. I'm not exactly keen to talk to all of the other foreign teachers (because some just downright creep me out or make me wanna shoot myself), so if i see them approaching from the other direction I just have to tuck in close to the group of chinese students in front of me and lower my head. It works, every time.

I can understand why they don't notice me walk right by on campus. Since there are only about 7 white faces on campus, they get a hell of a lot of attention from everyone. Making eye contact with students might actually encourage some of the students to approach you. It's usually the ones that have only been around foreigners a few times in their lives, because you can sense the palpable excitement in the air when they come up to you. If it's a student whose english skills are pretty poor, it can be the most strangest and disjointed of encounters. Then you get those ones that will straight up throw themselves at you and request you be their English master (tutor) so they can prepare for their upcoming english exam. Much akin to those old kung fu si- fus! All i can say is thank god i'm not white.

Actually I also never look at the faces of passing students when walking around campus. I have about 300+ students in all my classes and meet so many more students every day outside of class, that i have a hard time remembering faces or names. Especially chinese names for that matter, because they're that much harder to distinguish, and it's like having to remember two or three names per one person since they have 2-3 characters. But coming back to facial recognition, I admit that i still suck at distinguishing chinese faces. and yes, I know I'm Chinese. Must be all those years of looking at caucasian faces in Australia. I said this in a previous blog from last trip, and I still maintain that there is much less variety in Chinese facial features compared to caucasians.
http://alinchina08.blogspot.com/2009/01/13-billion-is-big-number.html
Unless you have some massive birthmark or giant mole, slapped across you're face, I'm sorry, I will not recognize you if you have that generic Chinese chop.

And something else I'll add is that Chinese people tend to follow the exact same fashion trends. Many of them sport the same haircuts, and have similar tastes in clothes and even glasses frames. I swear to you, there are two girls in one of my classes that can pass as identical twins- same looking face, same type of frames, same haircut. I don't know what causes this trend, the fact that chinese society doesn't mind plagiarism, or the fact that it's a much stronger collective/group society, and that nobody wants to stand out from the group.

But the local chinese themselves have no problems distinguishing two chinese faces. I mean, they can recognize me in a second, but thats probably not a good indicator since not many other guys sport facial hair or use hair gel here. So obviously it's got something to do with practice and exposure. My american friends and I joke that after a year here in China we'll be pros picking out chinese faces in a crowd, but we won't be able to distinguish a red head from a blonde when we get back to the west. ha ha.

Inappropriate sporting attire or the lack thereof and workout habits

A common perception about Chinese people is that they are all unathletic. Why I can remember when I was in highschool that most of us Chinese mostly excelled academically or musically. It was uncommon to see a Chinese student, especially those that weren't born in aus, to excel at any sort of sport. Mind you, the Phys-Ed classes we used to have in school were all tailored towards western style sports, so maybe my Chinese classmates could've kicked ass if ping pong or driving was in the curriculum. But no, for the most part, Chinese students are less sporty compared to their western counterparts. And if you're not interested in something, you're not going to take it very seriously are you? Take sporting attire for example.

Chinese people have some funny ideas about what appropriate sporting attire is. People seem to play sports and exercise in anything they can randomly find in their closets. Or maybe they just decide to exercise on a whim and just do it in whatever they're wearing at the time? I've noticed that jeans are a hot item for any sort of sport, especially running and jogging. It's heaps more prevalent amongst the middle age or older, but you still see some of the youngsters comitting these crimes against sporting fashion. Sometimes you'll see someone fly by in their jeans and nice shirt and wonder if they're in a hurry to get somewhere or they're just working out. But the phenomenom is real, cuz i've seen plenty of them running around the fields and tracks.

It's like they could probably go straight out to dinner after their run, except the fact they'd be all sweaty and smelly. But ah, maybe its linked back to the fact that chinese people don't wear deodorant or fragrance. So that means they either don't stink much when they sweat, or they just don't care about BO. Or for the men anyway, all the cigarettes they smoke later will drown out any smell. Or maybe they just wanna look fashionable while working out, who knows?

While we're on the topic of jogging and walking, some chinese do this strange thing of walking backwards around running tracks. Maybe it's supposed to be better for the legs somehow. It's a bastard when you're trying to run around a track though and you've got uncoming traffic reversing towards you, much akin to real driving on chinese roads :)
Like westerners, some runners will also listen to some tunes while running. The only difference is, some of them believe you'll love their choice of tunes too, and belt it out over the mini speaker of their radio or player. and they pump it up, real loud. and it's not like Chinese music is good to work out to anyway, since most of it is soppy love songs. Not much in the way of a fast beat to get you pumped up.

Some of you might be sitting there thinking , ''hey al, maybe some don't have enough money to buy sporting attire, quit being a bastard!'' But when i mean sporting attire, i don't mean buying an expensive nike sweat breatheable shirt. all i'm talking about is simple pair of shorts or tracky dacks, and maye a t-shirt. that stuff is dirt cheap to buy in china, and surely every chinese person has at least one old pair sitting around in their closets.

That's the thing i've noticed with people working out. the lack of exposed skin. I don't know if chinese people are just modest and loathe to expose their legs, but it seems that most of them will refuse to wear shorts. They even cover up their arms as well sometimes. I do know though that most asian girls like to preserve their white skin because of their perceptions of beauty.
Even in competitive sports or sporting carnivals, some people will still wear jeans, long pants and/or long sleeve tops.

Some of these pictures are from a sports carnival held within the university. Now i assume most of these kids taking part are doing so of their own freewill, and WANT to win. but i tell you they aren't doing their chances any good by wearing some of this stuff. I mean, when the olympic games came to beijing in 2008 didn't they notice Usain Bolt wasn't sporting a pair of Diesels in the 100 metres? C'mon, surely they also understand the concept of 'wind resistance?' Or maybe some of these students just took part for the hell of it and wanted to look fashionable in front of their mates.

Heres a final pic of some inter-uni soccer match played on campus, and no, that guy is not a streaker, it's the referee!

Mistaken identity rocks & Hiking Chinese style

Last weekend I finally made it to Huang Shan, otherwise known as Yellow mountain. On my previous trip to china i'd been told by many friends that a visit to huang shan was a must. I'd actually been looking forward to this trip as it was opportunity to get away from the hoardes of people and breathe some fresh air.Unfortunately as i later found out, huangshan is the place for neither of these things!

Ok, so when I think of hiking i always hark back to the memories of national parks and peaks in australia. pristine air, tranquility, scurrying creatures in the bush, and a distinct lack of humans.
But of course, this being China, hiking here is a much different experience.

Huangshan being the famous attraction it is draws many a crowd to its lofty cloud covered peaks, interantionally and moreover dometically. And with chinas population of 1 billion +, on any given weekend you choose to visit you're bound to bump into the other few hundred that also decided upon that same weekend! You don't really manage to get away from the crowds of your home city, you sorta just trade a local crowd for a national one. and yes, they all bring their phlegm with them.
At least you don't have to worry about being rammed by a wayward bicycle or electric scooter up there. Because theres two passenger cable car routes operating up the mountain it means accessibility to many more people who otherwise wouldn't have been fit enough to scale the mountain. Not that fitness is the only factor preventing one from scaling the mountain. You'd also have to be slightly bonkers to try negotiating some parts of the climb as safety provision can be as little as a chain running around a rock face and narrow steps. I guess thats why they built the cable cars!
So yeah, with the cable cars any man and his dog can now reach the summit of huangshan. once you're up there hiking = walking up a lot of steps.

With the volume of people visiting each weekend, queue times can take up to 3 hours for the cable car. fortunately it was only 1 hour when we went. However, once up in the mountain you run into a new concept of hiking unique to china, queuing! yep, queuing for lookout points, queuing for the famous sites, queuing just to get damn past!

I can accept the fact theres so many people in china, but what i can't accept is all the tourgroups and their megaphones blaring away! and the normal speaking volume of some chinese people is already so loud that when combined with a megaphone, one can hear them from any part of the mountain. Which brings me to the next unique thing about huangshan. the distinct lack of wildlife. Over the entire weekend i believe i only saw 1 squirrel, and 5 birds, and that was only when we ventured far off track. seems that all the noise of the crowds, megaphones, and jackhammers building the next hotel, have scared them all away.
On a side note, you'll notice some very strange hiking attire sported by the chinese, and i will devote a whole blog entry to this in the future more generally about sporting attire. It wasn't unsual to see guys in business suits or women looking like they ready to go out on the town.

The last thing I'll moan about before i get to the good points is the air. Despite all the no-smoking signs fixated everywhere, it's still a chimney up there with all the men puffing away. Yes, theres no pollution from any factories in huangshan, but it's sorta just exchanged for cigarette smoke from all the tourists. I'm suprised huangshan hasn't burned up yet due to forest fires.

If you can get over the crowds, huangshan really is a beautiful place, and the views from the top towards over peaks are breathtaking. Often clouds and mist (or the confluence of cigarette smoke?) would roll in over a matter of minutes and obscure the view, but when the peaks are drapped within them it cetainly gives it an ethereal feel. Appart from the views, huangshan is famed for it's Ying Ke Song (welcoming tree, nb theres also a farewell tree!). Aptly named as the shape of the tree resembles an outstretched palm, beckoning visitors to enter. Before going I'd been told by several of my chinese students that parts of the famous tree were actually fake or enhanced. Haha. no suprise there. apparently, some parts of the tree aren't looking as lush in it's old age, and also if it looks more impressive more tourist $$$ will roll in. i didn't study the tree closely enough to see what sort of 'enhancements 'had been made, whether it be a spraypaint makeover or complete plastic branches!







yep, you can't escape the commercialism of China, even up on the summit of huangshan. why, upon reaching the top of lotus peak, one of the highest points on the summit, you'll be greeted by a small stand where two guys are engraving gold or bronze medals with your name, all for a mere 10 rmb. I didn't get one done, but i'm sure it said something like 'I made it to the top of lotus peak [insert name here and date here]'.

the other drawcard of huangshan is it's famed rocks that supposedly resemble stuff. Now I say 'supposedly' because i couldn't see the resemblance to any of the given names, or the connection seemed a little bit of a stretch.


The first one here is called 'Monkey gazing over the sea of clouds'. Monkey? Really? I would've called it 'Kidney bean gaving over sea of clouds'. I think the huangshan tourism department were just dying to somehow connect it with a monkey since it relates to the monkey king from monkey magic (do love that show though).

And this next one is called 'flying over rock', which makes no sense to me at all. maybe the meaning was lost in translation. I know it's morbid, but i would've called it 'tombstone'.

We probably passed dozens of other rocks that have been labelled with other obscure names, but we just didn't know what we were looking at. If the rock formation looked funky, we took a picture of it. Didn't try standing there going cross eyed to make out the resemblance (i've read theres one called 'pig headed monk eat watermelon')

The last thing to mention about huangshan is all the porters that carry up the goods to the hotels and stores on the summit. if you happen to pass a porter when there aren't many people around he'll usually offer to sell his foodstuffs to you at a discount price to what is charged up on the summit. If the porters can unload some stock it makes their load a little lighter and easier to carry up to the top. as an example, bananas sell for about 5 rmb each on the summit, while we managed to bag 3 for 10rmb. Actually we coulda haggled a bit more since the girl after us got 4 for 10rmb. dammit.