Soft and fluffy Chinese television

There's only one way to describe Chinese television - soft and fluffy.  

I always try to watch as much Chinese TV, firstly to practice my listening and comprehension of Chinese, and secondly to try and get into the psyche of the regular Chinese viewer - what they like to watch and what's currently trending in society. Unfortunately, for me it's hard to watch a Chinese television station for more than 5 minutes without either falling asleep, rolling my eyes, or throwing something at the screen.

i used to think commercial tv in australia was crap, but Chinese TV really takes the cake.  Regardless of what you're watching, whether it be the news, talk shows, dramas, game shows, or even ads, the people and the world depicted on the screen seems to be something out of your most wonderful fantasy. Yes, television is always stylized, dramatized and wonderfully beautiful in any country, but in mainland Chinese TV productions it's like some utopian heaven. And of course once you step out your door into real Chinese society, you can see that disconnect is much larger than the one you see between TV and real life in the West.The heros are super heroic, the villains are super villanous, and the damsels are clearly distressed. The world is full of glamorous, thin and immaculately styled rich people.  It's rather fitting for the types of dramas that are commonly shown, which are either those set in ancient China, or modern dramas depicting either the war of resistance against the Japanese in WWII, or the civil war between the Communists and Republicans.  Beacause when it comes to depicting the Communist party, Mao and their struggle, it's all black and white and clear cut...
Recently an extreme type of Resistance against the Japanese dramas have cropped up, which basically depicts the Chinese protagonists pulling off some superhuman feats to kill off hoards of Japanese baddies. Like throwing a hand grenade into the air to take down a fighter plane, or a single fighter taking out a whole squadron of enemy soldiers, with a bow and arrow. The storylines and acion scenes are so ridiculous that it's now the butt of a lot of jokes amongst the locals, but still they remain highly popular, perhaps becuase people just watch it for a laugh or enjoy seeing japanese soldiers being killed in all sorts of gruesome ways. 

http://www.chinasmack.com/2013/videos/sino-japanese-war-tv-dramas-becoming-increasingly-ridiculous.html

After watching half an hour of Chinese television you really feel like your intelligence is being insulted. Thankfully, you'll be happy to know that most people (especially the youth), don't watch much chinese television. They're all internet savvy enough to browse for content with a little more substance online, and they realize how cheesy chinese tv is. CCTV here is jokingly known as CCAV, with the AV standing for ''adult video'', a pseudonym for entertainment/fantasy. And locals are always commenting how it would be wonderful to live in the world of CCTV, where everything is wonderful and blissful every day.

The one saving grace of Chinese TV is something that they don't have much of - reality TV shows. Though, the dating shows that each and every province has their own version of is somewhat like a reality TV show - filled with contestants who just want to become famous and not being very real or natural. Because lets face it, you're not going to size up a life long partner for yourself in 10 minutes based on answers to a few questions. I'm not sure if reality TV shows just haven't taken off yet in China, or if the government are banning such productions. I can imagine they don't want viewers to see the personal struggles of ordinary citizens as it could be an indirect critique of their own governance.



Finally, you'll notice a lot of tears shed on Chinese TV. Whenever I switch on, i'm guaranteed to see at least two or three people, celebrities or common people, letting it all hang out. I use to think Chinese people never cry or get emotional, but on TV it's a whole diffrent story. Those TV hosts know what buttons to press when they're interviewing those guests!

Gymming - China style!

Like everything in China, a trip to the gym is a big hassle and effort. Not that dragging my ass to the gym back in Oz is easy at the best of times.

The most annoying thing about the gym is how messy the place is, which is frankly how everything is in China! Equipment is never returned to their original places, and when it comes to dunbells you really feel like you're in a children's playpen where the kids haven't put away their toys. Often the dunbell weight you're after will be hidden amongst the dozens scattered on the floor, and you'll have to spend a good deal of time tracking it down. But once you have your desired dunbells and are between sets hold on tight to them! Placing them down nearby you while resting between sets is no indication that you still want to use them, as I've found out many a time after turning my back for 2 seconds.Theres also a bit of an 'ick' issue as many Chinese don't bring towels to lay down on equipment while using them. Many a time I've been confronted with large reservoirs of sweat on seats :(


The free weights section is definitely a men's only zone. At least in the West you might occasionally see a woman mixing it up amongst the men with a dunbell, but here in China it's a rare thing to see a woman in the free weights area. After a few sessions here, you start to realize that mainland Chinese are a lot more vain than you think. Yes it is a gym, but guys here will unashamedly stare and flex at themselves in the mirrors for a good deal of time, and you're guaranteed to see a shirt or two come off during your visit. Which brings us to the next point of interest, gym attire. As previously mentioned in another blog, some Chinese people don't believe in the concept of sportswear. That, or they consider jeans are sportswear.  Anything goes for footwear as well, and it's not uncommon to see guys wearing slippers. So much for foot safety, especially since every guy drops their dunbells and barbells to the ground after finishing.

No doubt that Chinese guys have smaller builds than other races, but surprisingly you do see a few beekcakes from time to time. However, you get the feeling that some guys are trying to go a little too hard too fast. You can always tell the overzelous ones by the quick outbursts of labour-like grunting and shouting before the weights are promptly dropped to the floor with a slam.
Somehow they think the more noise you make the better you look? Peronally I just find it bloody annoying. Well I guess that's one quick way to throw your back out.

 Most of the gym equipment you find here is pretty much the same as what you'd find in any Western gym, although you'll sometimes find pieces that are not in good working order or plain broken! There is one machine though that I'd never seen before. I can only best describe it as ''the wobbler'', a platform you stand on or rest your feet upon while the it shakes violently in all directions. It's only meant for individual use, but you sometimes see two people snuggle up on the machine together at the same time. You'd hope these people know each other, but either way it just looks disturbing. 

And finally, gym classes. Most of the offered classes are similar to what you'd see in the west, but my gym anyway seems to offer a whole lot of dance classes too, like the type with scarfs and paper fans. Not exactly my idea of an intense workout but maybe when the music is played double time it's a sweat out. It seems appropriate though as a la
rge demographic of the members are middle aged women. In case you're wondering, during the regular aerobics classes they do play western dance music, since most Chinese music is just too slow and not upbeat enough. I did once hear a typical Chinese soft song  being played in a class though, so i can only assume it was a warm down or yoga session. And the instructors funnily enough also use some English during their workouts, like counting to four and shouting out typical things like ''come on'', ''let's go'' etc. Guess English is the universal language of aerobic workout classes too!

A love affair with bright and sparkly, Poor communication skills & Murderous Uni roommates

Chinese (and all Asian people) seem to have some innate addiction to lights. Being of Asian blood myself I can attest to being inexplicably drawn to neon and flashing lights like a mosquito whenever i see some from afar. If you ever travel to any asian country you'll notice a comparatively larger amount of neon lights in the streets and in commercial areas. and with a flourishing economy here in China you start to see an extravagant and excessive display of lights attached to all manner of things - like entire buildings and groves of trees. In some parts of China you feel like you're on one big disco dancefloor.....with the crowds to match.

When you first see all this stuff it's quite impressive, but after a few months of being bombarded by it everywhere it begins to look quite tacky, tasteless and well, quite wasteful. If all these light displays were removed I'm pretty sure China could half it's electricity consumption, and shut down a few thousand coal power plants, and hey, give the people some cleaner air to breathe!  It makes me wonder if people would install neon lights upon their own houses if they had the money, or use them to decorate a christmas tree.

The addiction to bright and flashing lights is also seen in the love affair with  smart phones and tablets.  I realize people everywhere the world over are becoming slaves to their smart phones, but I get the impression that in Asian countries it's a lot worse. In public spaces not staring at a screen in front of you is now the exception! And what's worse, whenever I've stolen a look at what people are doing on their phones it's usually someone playing a game (usually a card game) or watching a tv show. I"m even starting to see people walking around while watching their TV shows or movies on their tablets with earphones in, all the while almost running into everyone and everything around them. Then theres the couples that spend ''quality time''  by watching or playing games together, or entire tables of ''friends'' at cafes or bars all doing their own thing on their mobiles or tablets. It's quite a disturbing development in society!  All this staring at screens and lights also explains why most asian people have to wear correctional lenses!

One of the reasons why a lot of Chinese retreat into their mobile phones and tablets is that their communication and social skills are not very strong, especially amongst generations born after the one child policy was implemented. Growing up without a sibbling to communicate and play with removes many of the opportunities to interact 24/7 with someone of a similar age to you. Secondly, Chinese children are under so much pressure to study and/or do extracurricular activities, that they hardly have a chance to play and develop those social skills.

The poor communication and social skills of people is something thats widely recongnized in China, not just by all foreigners who live here but by the local Chinese themselves. Many a time during class I've asked my students questions about Chinese society or about their childhoods, and I find a lot of them giving frank reflections on their own inward personalities or about their own perceptions of Chinese society.  I even posed a question last week to my classes, asking them what compulsory subject or skill they would like to see taught in all schools? Many of them answered; communication classes.

Also, recently theres been a spate of murders and attacks committed by university roommates upon one another. In one case a student stabbed  his roommate in a fit of rage after his roommate ignored him knocking on the door for a long period of time. Apparently his roommate was engrossed in, yep you guessed it, a computer game.
  
http://www.ibtimes.com/three-deaths-one-week-chinese-college-campuses-1202311#

http://www.globaltimes.cn/content/776968.shtml#.UX7Ah8oTZS4

Of course, not all students here harbor thoughts of murdering their roommates, but it does highlight some of the serious social problems and deficiencies of Chinese youth.

I'm so handsome in China

the other day a disturbing thing happened. I was walking outside the library when suddenly from a distance I thought I heard someone calling out to me. Hey 帅哥 (shuai ge), i quickly spun around only to sheepishly realize the caller was after someone else. You see, 帅哥 (shuai ge) means handsome guy in English. 

Now before you start thinking I absolutely love myself,  let me explain. Shuai ge, in China, is used by females (and sometimes males) to address a man you don't know, for example, pulling someone aside on the street and asking for directions.  It's like using ''Mate'' in Australia or England, or ''Man?'' in the States. (actually i don't know what they use in the States). I've heard it used in many different situations, even in customer service in some shops. 

So I've become accustomed to being addressed as shuai ge (handsome guy), and have pretty much taken it up as my calling card. As such whenever someone says shuai ge I turn my head to check if someone is calling to me. So it's not the case that I've somehow convinced myself that I'm hot. It's very strange and unnerving, because even though I know all this I'll still impulsively turn whenever someone calls out shuai ge. It must be that every guy in a room turns his head when shuai ge is called.

When I initally arrived in China I  remember the first time I went out shopping in a market and everyone calling me shuai ge. I thought to myself damn I must be having an awesome hair day, or that beauty standards in China are pretty low since I never considered myself as model material. I also thought the women in these markets were pretty lonely and quite direct with their flirtateous advances. Alas, It didn't take me long to notice  all the other male patrons were getting the same shuai ge treatment (even the butt-ugly ones), and thus the wind was quickly taken out of my sails.

I don't know at what age you stop being referred to as shuai ge, and start to be called xian sheng (mr) or shu shu (uncle). I've noticed they don't call elderly men handsome  guys. Perhaps it's a little disrespectful, being such an empty platitude and all. And if i walked around with a wife latched to my arm and a small child bouncing in front of me, what then?  It seems like such a trite title, and I know I would struggle calling every guy shuai ge, but perhaps if you don't do it the guy will be highly offended. ''what, am i that ugly that you can't even bring yourself to lie to me?"

Conversely, women are referred to as 美女 (mei nv) or beautiful girl. 

Fireworks overload

As we have just finished up another Chinese New Year festival, I thought it appropriate to write about the Chinese love affair with firecrackers and fireworks.

I'll refer to fireworks and firecracker as FW and FC, and both as FWC just to save on time and space.

I've previously written about FWCs during chinese new year in a previous post on my first visit to China in 2008,

http://alinchina08.blogspot.com/2009/02/chinese-new-year-with-beijing-bang.html

so I won't explain the atmosphere during Chinese New year again. Instead I thought I'd talk about the Chinese love affair with FWCs in general, and from a foreigner's perspective.

FWC's are actually set off quite routinely outside the chinese new year, though obviously theres a much greater amount set off during the 15 day festival. I don't know of all the reasons why they're set off, but I do know that one is to scare the evil spirits away, and the other is probably to usher in prosperity and luck. Hence they're an essential feature at wedding receptions, official opennings, and a staple for business owners who just want to usher in more good fortune. In the area where I live, it seems that every week they'll be at least 2-3 occurences.

As a foreigner when I first arrived in China and heared FWCs going off near my appartment, I used to quickly rush to the closest window and gape in awe. "how cool, FWCs are going off right outside my window. It's like my own private show'' I would think to myself.

But by the 20th time the FWCs are going off outside,  no longer will you be rushing to any window. Instead you'll be cursing under your breath and picturing some business owner trying to usher in a little more luck and fortune for their business. I don't think there's a limit as to how much luck you can supposedly attain from setting off FWC's, and it seems some business owners routinely set them off! I feel like going up to some of these repeat offenders and telling them to use the money spent on FWC's to instead invest in, oh say, the customer ammenities and staff! Like if your dishes taste really awful I'm not going to come back to your restaurant just cause I suddenly whiff burnt FC's outside your front door. How about not cooking such crap food, or changing up the menu.

Thankfully people are considerate enough to not set off FWCs too late in the night, but during chinese new year is another matter. However, for those who like to have a bit of a sleep in after 9am, you could find yourself rudely jolted awake and traumatized. I can understand FC's being set off during the day, but it's just weird setting off FW's during this time when you can hardly see them!

Like I mentioned before in a previous post, fireworks are opennly available for sale in China from little peewee ones that fizzle to the industrial level types you see in professional shows. and let me tell you they don't always go off like they should, these being made in China and given the typical chop of Chinese quality control. FW's are sold in a box the size of about 2 cartons of 24 pack beers put together. To set off, you simply have to light the fuse that runs throughout the box, and run like hell. The FW's in the box are then supposed to go off sequentially as the fuse runs past each one.

While in Malaysia I witnessed one of these imported boxes from China go off.......in one LARGE explosion. It's more like i heard the thing go off from inside the house, as all the windows reverberated and every car alarm within the area was triggered. Luckily nobody was maimed, but there were smoldering remains everywhere. It would be interesting to find out how many injuries and deaths arise out of FWCs, but it''s something that the news never reports on.

At least the government do try to mitigate risks though, by publishing statements on the news like ''only set off fireworks in open spaces''. Though just the other day I saw some guy setting his too close to the side of an appartment block and then watched as half of them fell back down to the ground and exploded. ah TIC.

Sleep is sacred

Sleep is highly valued thing here in China. It seems that most Chinese people always ensure they get enough sleep each night, and make sure they have a nap every afternoon after lunch. Actually I hadn't realized siesta was part of Chinese culture before I came here, and certaintly it doesn't have a universally known term like 'siesta' is to the Spanish. When i first arrived i was always puzzled why all the students and staff in the cafeterias would shovel down their lunch then quickly disappear. Now I know. At the current university i'm based at, they switch all the lights off in the cafeteria after an hour to politely knudge you out of there. That's when the sleeping bag and dunas come out onto the tables and the kitchen staff have their snooze.

I'm not sure if all white collar workers take naps in their offices at work, but certainly all the Chinese teachers at university do it. and forget about getting any service from the departments or admin offices between 12-2pm, because nobody will be there.

You'd think that with so much sleep Chinese people would always appear spritely, but it's completely the opposite way around. It's not unusal to see workers looking like they're half-dead and completely drained, eyes glazed over. I'm sure it's not like this for all professions, but opennly showing and expressing fatigue is quite acceptable here. It's quite a contrast to western society, where opennly displaying tiredness can get you the wrong sort of attention from the boss. And it doesn't exactly strike confidence into the customers either! I wouldn't feel comfortable if my bus driver or doctor looked half awake.

In particular, university students seem to be deprived of sleep 24/7. Most of my class always look like they're about to drop dead, and take every opportunity to bury their heads into their arms. I know not all my classes are exciting, but they ain't THAT boring either. and you might think that all Chinese students are overloaded with classes causing them to be constantly tired, but i think this is onlytrue up until university. Once they enter university, most of the pressure is off. I always wonder if they just need to introduce coffee into their regular diet! Or perhaps some of them are just malnourished?

More than anything else though, I think that just because it's more socially acceptable to look tired in public, people let themselves go. I myself often feel tired throughout the day, so i can see myself going flacid and floppy if I wasn't so stuck in my western ways.

Yep chinese people are not afraid of sleeping anywhere at anytime. A while ago i came accross an album dedicated to asian students sleeping in Universities in the west.

http://asianssleepinginthelibrary.tumblr.com/

Just goes to show that westerners find it peculiar to see such an openness to sleep in public! Living here in China though I can't complain. Since I do look like a local I can do as the romans do and now blissfully sleep anywhere I like without so much as a sideward glance from passersby. after securing my wallet of course!

Those damn Chinese dating shows - Part 2

The format of the dating show Fei Cheng Wu Rao has evolved over the years. The current format of the show is pretty cheesy, but the original version was even more unpalatable. So much so that it brought upon itself the ire of the Communist party, mandating that the format of the show be changed.

In the original version there was a much greater emphasis on the material wealth of the male contestants who came on the show. Why during the introduction video of every contestant the details of their monthly income would flash up on the screen. Accordingly, many of the male contestants would fill their intro videos of shots of them posing in front of their expensive cars or other flashy assets. After government intervention, gone is the emphasis on material wealth, though it's a sure bet that it still plays in the back of the minds of the female contestants. At the very least, the occupation of each guy is still detailed.

One particulary infamous incident attracted a lot of public criticism. Ma Nuo, one of the more  prominent girls on the show, used to proudly proclaim herself as a money worshiper. During one episode she flatly rejected a guy who wasn't rich enough with the now infamous line: ''I would rather cry in the back of a BMW than sit happily on the back of your bicycle.''




Apparently she copped a lot of criticism on chinese social media websites and talkshows after that, and she scrambled to make up all sorts of excuses to explain her words had been taken out of context. Not that anyone believed her though, since she had a reputation of being cruel, mocking and condescending of any guy who didn't tick her many, many boxes. Since leaving the show she's gone on to do some modelling (most of her work comprising of shoots for FHM-like men's magazines), singing and acting.

In fact, the tone of many of the other girls was also quite mocking and disrespectful of many of the male contestants who weren't made of  prince-charming material. One episode comes to mind when a 31 year old guy who dressed a bit too formally was laughed at and called 'uncle' by most of the girls. All this, coupled with a healthy serving of sexual inuendo quickly attracted the attention of the Communist party, who told the producers to shape-up, or ship-out the show. The party were none too happy with the messages it was sending out to all the viewers.

So in the revamped version gone is any details of income, focus on materialism, or disrespect for the male contestants. And just for good measure, the Communist Party also installed their own psychologist, Huang Han, to join the other relationship expert, Le Jia already on the show. I guess she's there to prevent discussions from heading in the wrong direction and keep everyone in check.

So there are three regular figures on the dating show. The host Meng Fei, and the two relationship experts Le Jia and Huang Han. I don't know why but Meng Fei and Le Jia, who are both guys, always keep their heads shaved. My theory is the bold heads are supposed to symbolize the eunuchs, since they don't take part in the show or court the women.

Once in a while they will have these special episodes where they bring a whole bunch of Chinese ex-nationals, who now work or study abroad, on to the show. Needless to say, the strike rate for these guys seems to be a bit higher than their counterparts who remain in China. I wonder why....

Once in a while they'll also have westerners on the show, and again the strike rate for them seems to be higher than the local guys. Whenever I see a foreign guy on the show they always seem to be a designer of some sort. Perhaps the producers have a template for foreign guys they want on the show? Anyway, most of the guys seem to fit a certain type of character profile. I can't quite describe it, you'd have to watch a few episodes with foreign contestants to get an idea. Most of them seem genuine though, but mind you there are some pretty shady characters on there too.

Finally, I'm loathe to say that the idea for this show was actually taken from the original Australian tv show "Take me out''. I believe it only lasted a season or two a few years back, and even then i don't know how such shite lasted that long. As the title suggests, the show was more about finding a date, rather than finding a partner for the long term. It seemed that all the female contestants were recruited from nightclubs, and every male contestant who came on the show seemed to be a part-time model. The funny thing was, a lot of the contestants seemed to know each other, or had a friend who used to date someone else, so the producers must've recruited all of them from the one night spot.  They also had special episodes where the roles were reversed and all the guys were behind the podiums, though on these episodes it seemed every guy couldn't get a date if their lives depended on it.