Chinese people have a fascination with other people's dating and love lives. It's a topic that often comes up in conversation, even with practical strangers you've only just met. Two weeks ago I had my first classes this semester with my new english classes, and all eight classes asked me if I had a girlfriend when i allowed them to ask questions of me. (they also all asked for my opinion about the diaoyu / senkaku island dispute, but we'll leave that for another blog!) Perhaps if i was a woman they wouldn't be so bold to ask. Not that it bothers me though since I've become used to getting this question.
Match-making your friends seems to be a regular past time here in China, moreso than the West. When you think about it, going out to bars and clubs is not as common here (not that I think theres a very good strike rate there), and it seems that people who work together don't have as many opportunities to socialize vs their western counterparts. This might sound offensive when said, but I get the impression that Chinese people are a lot more guarded and weary of each other, especially towards people they don't know well. God only knows theres a lot of dishonest people out there. Add to that the fact that chinese people can be very opaque, and you can understand why a friend's word can be vital in finding a potential love interest.
So that brings us to the topic of this blog - TV dating shows. They are a HUGE hit in China, and it seems every province has their own spin on it. One of the most famous ones in all of China is produced locally here in Nanjing, Fei Cheng Wu Rao 非诚勿扰, which translates as ''not sincere, don't disturb'', or ''if you're not sincere, don't bother.''
Each episode 5 male contestants come onto the show, one at a time, and each is presented to the twenty-four recurring girls who stand up behind their podiums. All the players seem to range in age from mid twenties to as old as late 30's, but the majority seem to be in their late twenties to early thirties. At any time the girls can press their buzzers to opt out if they feel the guy is not ideal for them, but once that buzzer is pressed they can't opt back in. So as soon as the guys come out and just gives his name and age, the girls can start opting out already! (Usually when this happens it will be because the girl has a set age or height in mind for their ideal man). After the male contestant has given his name and age he selects and indicates the girl he finds most attractive on a little hand held machine. The selection is known to the viewing audience but not to the girls themselves.
A series of self-prepared videos are then airred to get to know the male contestants, such as brief introduction, friend's impressions, past love life history, and ideal partner qualities. In between videos the girls are asking the contestant questions or making comments, while the host is also asking girls why they opted out. Most of the questioning is civil, but let me tell you some of the girls absolutely rip into the guy or denigrate him if they think theres something wrong with him. Even the host and resident ''relationship experts'' will have a dig at him if he's clearly not in-step with what a good man is expected of in Chinese society. Personally this is one of the things that turns me off the show, seeing some of these so called ''beauties'' with cakes of makeup on their faces holding themselves up on a pedestal. I really feel sorry for some of these guys who it seems receive more of a lecture on national television rather than take part in the show. It's like the producers purposely let these guys come on just to make an example of them and turn the show into some public education announcement.
If the guy has some sort of special talent, they're always given a chance to showcase their skills e.g massage one of the girls, do a dance, sing, whatever. This can take a sizeable amount of time, and sometimes you wonder if you're watching a variety concert or a game show. 
By the end of all the video segments and questioning if there are any girls who are still interested the guy can only choose two girls he likes, as well as the girl he originally selected at the beginning of the show (purely based on appearances). Even if his chosen girl opted out she is called out in the ''final 3 lineup''. You'd think that with 24 girls it's easy to get to this stage, but most of the guys fail to have a single girls still interested, and if there are girls still interested its usually only a handful. The girls come back on the show each week, so I guess they can be choosey!
So up to this point the girls have had the decision, but after this the guy has the power to reject or not. From a list of questions that all the girls have already answered, he chooses one and their respones are shown on a screen. Finally he gets to ask an additional question of his choosing, and each girl has to answer on the spot. Taking the responses into consideration he chooses his girl. If he chooses one of the girls who never opted out, they walk away together, but if he chooses his original choice he makes one last plea to her to reconsider (usually this ends in failure). It's pretty rare for the original choice not to have opted out, but if this happens it's an instant match-make. 
Like a lot of Chinese TV shows, this one is really overcooked. The dramatized responses and over-pleasant pleasantries by contestants, cheesy video's, down to the soppy music played in the background can really make your eyes roll unless you're a 15 year old teenage girl. It's supposed to be a ''reality'' show, but just like most western ''reality'' shows they're set in another universe unfamiliar to our daily lives. When asked, all of my Chinese uni students don't believe it's real either, and only watch it for a laugh.
One particular episode comes to mind where a perfect match was achieved (i.e. the guy's original choice of girl ended up being one of the many who still hadn't opted out). When watching the whole segment play out it seemed like you were watching something out of a hollywood script. The girl was beautiful, sweet, kind-hearted,, while the guy also seemed to be absolutely flawless, good looking, and was, wait for it........ a white whale trainer at a Seaworld-like theme park (his introuction video had him frolicking with his white whale awwwww). The question and answer sessions went like clockwork, with the guy having a good answer for every question. By the end of it there was a hoard of girls still opting in, including his original choice. Now unless almighty God is the producer and director of this show, I have to say this seemed a little staged.
Theres a lot more to talk about this show, including the original format of the show which caused so much controversy and brought upon itself the ire of the Communist Party, special episodes for foreign chinese nationals, foreign contestants, the hosts, and it's special Australian connection, all of which i'll talk about in the next blog.
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